We don't live in peace, we live in fear.

Over the last few weeks, this statement has been looming in my head. I find myself constantly asking WHY so many choices are made and I've come to realize that this word "fear" can be used to explain so much of what appears to be nonsensical. I don't think it was until this experience that I have really examined my own fears but at least now, I am fully conscious of that. The only way I can even attempt to rationalize some of the things I have witnessed here is to think about how fear effects the choices that individuals make. Whether or not people use fear as a catalyst for some sort of illusion of control or fear causes people to focus on our differences while over looking our similarities, it ultimately comes down to this: do our choices stem from fear or from love?

Something else that I have been thinking about is my beliefs. This may be a silly example but it's the one that I have been contemplating which is my belief to not eat meat or to rephrase, I do not believe in eating meat. I have made a choice to not eat meat because I do not believe in the torturing of animals and the meat industry as a whole. But if I had a choice to either eat meat or die, what would I do? I know this is an extreme situation, but it's a question that I should be able to answer. If I chose to eat meat then I would contradict my beliefs and what is life worth if I have nothing to believe in? After having this discussion with a few people, one person said that the only belief worth dying for is the belief in God. I'm still trying to figure out how to relate to this because never in my life have I said I believe in God but I realize that I cannot say I don't believe in something I don't know. I've decided once I go home I am going to spend some time studying religion so hopefully I can figure out whether or not it's something I believe. In any case, if I've learned one thing since being here, it is the value of conversation.

Another thought that has remained consistent in my head is the thought of going home. What exactly is home? Does home have to be a physical place? It's strange how we use these words like "home" so loosely yet their meanings are so profound. I am (in the literal sense) returning home to America but I do feel at home here as well. This was another conversation I had here with a few friends and I've come to the realization that home is a psychological state simply because home is where I am. In other words, I create a "home" wherever I go. Someone put it nicely by saying that home is our imagination.